vegan, foodie, cooking enthusiast, spoonie, just trying to put one foot in front of the other...

stages of chronic illness


1) denial. wake up every day feeling like “i’m going to be back to normal today!”

2) accept that you aren’t normal and probably never will be.

3) be mad about it

4) stay mad forever



no one saw me wear it therefore it is not dirty

Schrödinger’s laundry

(Source: 2460-pun)

sometimes i feel like i’m destined to be alone forever, like who exactly would want to step in the mess i’ve become

i’m tired of sadness and adrenaline, i’m tired of loneliness, i’m tired of self-pity and of being pitiable, tired of trying to solve the ‘viable future’ equation, and so fucking tired of being in pain every moment of every single day with no end in sight

how’s that for getting real about chronic illness
how’s that for gratitude
how’s that for i have no more patience for your shit cascade, universe, you’ve taught me enough god damn lessons
and it’s about fucking time you show me something good

you better send the best chocolates money can buy in the best satin box you can find
swiftly followed by some help and companionship
because i’m pissed
pissed and depleted from paying my dues
and here to collect
now help me the fuck out already


nah sorry i cant go out tonight, i have plans to spiral into uncontrollable anxiety starting in the early evening and ending at roughly 3 am


I find it really strange that when you’re in a long distance friendship or relationship all you want to do is see that person and being around them is the biggest most wonderful deal but there are people who interact with them
all the time, on the street and in the classroom and in the shops and it always makes me jealous because you want to be with this person so much and for everyone else they’re nothing special but for you they’re everything special


Gecko might be onto something. 


Gecko might be onto something. 


its embarrassing being a happy crier. also an angry crier. definitely a sad crier too. actually you know what im pretty much just always crying


so sorry for my delayed response to this email, i have been very swamped being a confused and frightened idiot who can’t do basic life tasks like respond to her emails